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Nov. 28th, 2016 | 01:33 am

This is your standard crit post. Is my characterization off? Do my plots make no sense? Is there just something bizarre in how I handle Puss in Boots? This is a place where you can let me know.

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Obligatory app post

Nov. 28th, 2011 | 06:24 pm

Character Name: Puss in Boots
Series: [wikipedia]
Point in canon: After Puss in Boots, but before the Shrek movies.

Character Background and Personality: He's a lover, not a fighter. A thief with a heart of gold, Puss makes a living while flirting with both ladies and danger. The first scene he appears in has him stealing a ring off the hand of his landyfriend's owner before making a getaway. That said, he's not without honor -- he states early on that he will not steal from a church or from an orphanage. In short, he is a cat with all the flair that being voiced by Antonio Banderas can bring. He is the most interesting cat in the world. He is Puss in Boots.

As for background, he's got your standard orphan backstory. It's all very heartbreaking, of course. There was even a flashback covering his life story, but let's not go into that here. It can all be summed up with "Puss is a good kitty, really."

The actual plot of the movie involves Puss teaming up with his shifty childhood friend, Humpty Dumpty, and the bad egg's sidekick, Sophia Softpaws, on a quest to find magic beans in order to steal golden eggs from the giant's castle in the clouds. Humpty commits his inevitable betrayal after they succeed, landing Puss in prison right before an angry giant goose shows up to destroy their hometown, but Puss manages to save the day and give everyone a happy ending, as per Disney logic.

In short, everything can be summed up with the following: dance battle early on, helium voices in the middle, and giant goose at the end. Oh, and making Mama proud. Puss really enjoyed that one.

Sexual Orientation: Puss loves the ladies.

Sample Post:
Those who peek into the local animal shelter might see a surprising sight. At least two unchipped volunteers have collapsed on the ground, and there appears to be a cat with rather stylish boots reaching into a cage. Is that tabby talking?

"I'm sorry. The winds of fate have brought me my destiny, but I will never forget you. I love you. You are the love of my life. It is unfortunate that we must part so soon after meeting, but I am sure that destiny will bring us together once again. And I--" The cat freezes and turns its head to glare at a third volunteer. It's possible that the glaringly obvious plan to grab the cat with a large towel might have had something to do with his change in focus.

"I cannot bear the thought of you doing el snippo to my huevos! Animal shelter? Hardly. En guarde!" shouts the cat, right before he attacks the poor hardworking volunteer with its saber. It turns back to the cat in the cage, saying, "I gotta go, but I will return. You have my word!"

Then the cat scampers off, running on its hind legs. Those paying attention might notice a cage it runs past with the a notice stating that Puss in Boots has recently gotten chipped, and is scheduled to be neutered.

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